Errant Effect: An Errant Christmas
by TheJackinati275
Summary: This is the Story of Jane Shepard, the Daughter of Adelle Shepard, the Saviour of the Citadel, and her struggles with the tide of Christmas Surprises... Oh no, What will become of this story? How will Garrus, her Lover deal with the Situation? and how will the Citadel Council deal with her Christmas Eve Party? No Prior knowledge of Errant Effect required, but it is recommended.


Errant Effect: An Errant Christmas

**Disclaimer:** Mass Effect owned by Bioware

Full Definition of ERRANT

1: traveling or given to traveling an errant knight

2 a : straying outside the proper path or bounds an errant calf

b : moving about aimlessly or irregularly an errant breeze

c : behaving wrongly an errant child

d : fallible

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><p><strong>Bold: Question<strong>

Authors Note: Before Reading this, i highly suggest that you read Errant Effect... Prior reading is not necessary as i only briefly touch anything related to Errant Effect.

Well except for the Koboskien's.

**What the Hell is up with this story, i haven't seen any of this in Errant Effect?**

Yes, this story might be considered a little bit Spoilerish, so if you are a Fan of Errant Effect and you don't want parts of the story spoiled for you, even though i haven't written most of the plot points yet, well don't read this story.

Why have i set it up this way?... well i want others to see just how far i want my story to go, to show how i attempt to make things different from the canon story, and because it felt like the most relevant place in the storyline to set up a slightly humorous, but feel-y Christmas themed story when the original Story is serious and not very compromising when it comes to holiday themed stories... seriously i couldn't even do the Halloween story that i planned to do.

**Why am i posting this story separate from Errant Effect?**

So that people who have not read Errant Effect can still read something that is Christmas themed.

**Where can i find Errant Effect?**

Errant Effect can be found by googling Errant Effect and finding it there, Clicking on my name and searching through my storylist or by just searching through the Fandom... Errant Effect is Rated M, so be sure that you change your search filter.

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><p><strong>Don't like my Story, That's fine, i don't expect everyone to love my story, but offering me a review that lacks either Constructive criticism, or just something that constitutes as plain old Flame is not helpful at all... and i wont listen to that sort of thing... Thank you for reading, now you can get on with my story, i just like to clear my chest in case things go wrong.<strong>

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><p>Christmas Holiday Chapter 1: An Errant Christmas<p>

Kloriak Velky'naz, 2388 C.S.Y (Citadel Standard Year)

December the 24th, 2778 H.C.E (Human Common Era)

8:21 a.m Earth-time.

Jane Shepard sighed, today's date was December the 24th, Christmas eve, she knew when she looked at her Omni-tool to check on the time, afraid that she had overslept, but then she realized that she was retired, but she was too late, her Omni-tool was opened, and the date was shown.

Christmas eve, the day when her family usually gathered together in the Log house on the outskirts of the rapidly rebuilt New Taiyuan, Jane remembered her first Christmas with her 'Family', The sight of the Geth working as they rebuilt the city from scratch, for no apparent reason they rebuilt it... To this day Jane Shepard still remembered the strange sight, the sight of those white, three fingered mechanical sentient's as they welded and worked on the frames of new houses, the sight of fresh and gleaming metal, something absolutely rare at those days in the 'Colony' before they managed to build industrial complexes, but when the Geth arrived, they changed everything for the struggling community of people who were still crying and feeling the aftereffects of the New Taiyuan bombing, of the War with the 'Blue's', Jane still remembered the sight of red hot tracer rounds descending into the tree line, where seconds later the sound of mechanical death emerged from AHMG's and Vulcan Cannons and Missiles, the sound of roaring flames as her family home was wreathed in flame and blackened, and the sight of that one woman, her adoptive mother, who stood tall and literally grabbed Jane and forced her into her arms and rushed at her before cleaning her bloodied face with a canteen full of water... and the sight of her new father, so tall and with armour, his face paint and his Gauss rifle, their faces where blurred, but the detailing of their armour was always vivid, the black, red and blue detailing... that memory always brought a tear to Jane's eyes, they were her guardians and her protectors.

But what Jane remembered most was the scent of freshly ground cinnamon from one of the nearby farmstead's, the sound of a crackling fire, or the roaring laughter of her adoptive father who wore a red hat... the hat of Santa Claus, as he brought out a present for me... that was one time where Yaroouz stayed around the house for longer than two months, because the Bombing of Taiyuan so completely destroyed the embassy building as it was at the epicenter of the blast, Yaroouz thus stayed at 'home' for six months until the Geth built a new Embassy building...

Jane still remembered the taste of fresh, home baked cinnamon rolls, of the homey taste of Klar'haurun (Essentially a Koboskien substitute of Scones or Damper, made from Kalrue, a kind of Koboskien flour), and of the excitement of opening up her present... Her reply to the gift was in Mandarin Chinese because at that time Jane knew no English.

"Xie Xie"

Garrus turned his head, his mandibles were slightly lowered, and he spoke back in curiosity

"Jane?"

Jane just turned her head to face Garrus before speaking.

"Nothing Garrus, just lost in a memory"

"A memory?"

Jane pulled the blankets off of her naked body and she began to search around for her clothing which lay scattered around the place, no doubt lost through last nights activities, but when she found her blue panties and was in the process of sliding them up her leg's, she decided to answer Garrus.

"Yep, i was just remembering my first ever Christmas... well to be honest it wasn't my first christmas, but it was my first christmas with Adelle, my Adoptive mother"

Garrus remembered Adelle, her red hair, her Motherly attitude towards the crew on the First Normandy, the way she mentored Garrus during their hunt for Saren... it was the Death of Adelle which saddened him, and the way the Citadel and the Senator's thanked her... with scorn, forced Garrus into solitude on Omega, Adelle's message of fighting for what was right, for freedom for oppresion burned like embers within Garrus and he fought, fought against the Gangs and the Mercenary companies, he even once sabotaged an Emphezar supply vessel that was laden with arms, including 3 20mm Vulcan Cannon's, which the Criminal Organisations admire for its fast rate of fire and its ability to suppress an enemy, and they are usually mounted on A-61 Mantis Gunship's, usually two at a time to allow for a hellish firerate of over 100 rounds per second, one of those rounds being enough to pierce through most buildings and out the other end for a half-kilometer... and Garrus was happy that the Mantis Gunship that gave him the scar on his face was not armed with one of those horrible devices of Human origin.

And then Garrus remembered what Christmas was, it was some human religious event, but since humans where so rare outside the 3-14 Sector, nothing much was known about human events outside of Human-Koboskien-Geth space, so he decided to ask her more about the event.

"So, what is this Christmas exactly?"

Christmas, how could Jane best describe Christmas to a Turian, well she decided to just tell him about the two important things about Christmas... or Christmas eve or whatever.

"Christmas, or well at least for my family, Christmas eve is a day where the Family all gathers together and exchange gifts, me... i remember the Family around the fireplace, the smell and taste of Christmas dinner and dessert, the un-wrapping, or in my case, tearing apart of the wrapping paper and seeing what i got, and then watching what others got as well, it is the best feeling in the whole world, and to me it is my favourite day in the world... and if you spot those Anti-Materialist christmas nay-sayers... they can all go suck a dick, to me Christmas is about the Family gathering together, i don't give a fuck about materialism, and those ass holes telling me what i can and cannot say can fuck off as well... its a tree, not your god-damned messiah, i don't go up to your windowsill and say Fuck Honukuh or Fuck Chinese New Year, so don't say that i cannot say Ho-Ho-Ho, fucking doucebag's"

Garrus had no idea what prompted her angry response, but he didn't feel like he wanted to know, whatever caught his girlfriends temper tended to be crushed with her bare hands, or the barking of her raised voice... Scary.

And then, as if fate ordained the event, Jane received a Vid-call, which glowed in a small blue circle above her wrist.

Shepard tapped the vid with her right index finger and waited to see who called, not caring in the slightest if they saw her mostly nude body.

Jane was astounded, and Garrus quickly lounged around to peer into whom was calling... it was a Koboskien, those large, tall species that resembled a Krogan in quite a few ways, but Garrus had never seen one before as they were rare even in Human space, but he had heard tales about them, hell everyone heard tales about the 'Thin Krogan'.

"Jane... hmm, have i called at a bad time... Is that your alien-friend?"

Jane turned her face slightly to the right to see that Garrus was observing her call before she shoved her hand further away before blushing rapidly... Garrus rarely if ever saw Jane blush.

"Yaroouz, what are you doing calling, aren't you supposed to be ruling over some proceeding's or something like that, being a politician and all that?"

Yaroouz scratched at the back of his head, he knew that he was not the greatest of fathers, what with his bad time frame and his over-handedness in Jane's education and training during her childhood and teenage years, which would not have exactly painted the best view of her Father, well 'adoptive father', but he loved her like any other father, and he would not have her know any different.

"Not Yaroouz... Father, as to my Political life, i have resigned... Today, i have heard that you have taken up residence in the in the large apartment that David Anderson provided you... Correct?"

Jane couldn't help but blurt out one thing to the screen.

"Resign... Resign, does that even exist in your vocabulary, what are you going to do for the rest of your life!?"

Yaroouz sighed, he hoped that his daughter wouldn't be vocal, but being the person that his daughter was, it was inevitable, it seemed that Jane adopted Adelle's trait for confrontation, and the best way to deal with it was to be honest.

"Well... it gives me more time to be a... a better father, i was not the best role model for you and i apologize, but i have a present for you for Christmas... one that you might enjoy"

Jane decided to ask.

"What is it?"

Yaroouz, Jane's adoptive father did the one thing that she had rarely ever seen in her entire life... he giggled like a mad man before he opened up his lips to speak.

"Jane, i have heard that you despise the Council... well how would you like to see them, all three of them, each one with a face full of grimace... HAAHAHAHAHA, you should have seen it"

Jane couldn't resist, this sounded like it could have been one of two things, good or bad.

"What did you do?"

Yaroouz cracked up laughing before he spoke again.

"I just gave them an order... I said that they could attend your Christmas Eve dinner, or i could charge them with reparations for their actions and neglect of the Bombing of New Taiyuan..."

Jane interrupted mid sentence.

"What, i am not having a Christmas Eve dinner!"

Yaroouz, in that rare face, grinned at Shepard's face before replying back.

"I had this day all planned out, in one or two hours from now, caterer's will arrive, your dress will arrive as will your... Turian lover's costume... Consider this a... well lets call it a Christmas Surprise... Surprise"

Jane couldn't help but reply back.

"But how?, surely you did not plan all this?"

Yaroouz laughed before he replied back.

"Yes i did, i remember looking at the collection of pictures and i remembered you siting on my lap, you would have been 4 years of age, it was your first Christmas... and then i realised that it was mid-november when i saw it, and i thought of you... Then i learned that you were conveniently staying on the Citadel, and Christmas eve Coincided with my own meeting with the Council..."

Jane again interrupted mid sentence.

"Wait... you resigned today because you saw a picture of me"

Yaroouz just gave a half-assed reply.

"Well that, and i am getting old"

"But you are not even 100 years old"

Yaroouz decided to give the truth.

"Very well my daughter, if you wish for the truth than i shall provide it, i have decided that i have spent enough time looking out for others, let someone else take over and let me enjoy a few years enjoying myself... and there is no greater sight in all the Galaxy than your bright face on a Christmas day, i could live my entire life doing paper work, but it would never amount to the same as spending one day with you... i have missed you and your brother enough"

Garrus couldn't help but add to the conversation by blurting out one word.

"Brother?"

Yaroouz obviously overheard that, so he quickly gave a reply.

"Jane, hold out your arm so that i can see you both please"

Jane decided to do as asked, so she jumped back onto the bed where Garrus's neck craned on top of Jane's left shoulder, within view of Yaroouz.

"Hmm, let me give you the simple overview, in 2753, Adelle Shepard was on an Anti-Piracy mission that caught a Batarian Slaving ring red handed, the Batarian pirates where detained, but found that many of the Batarians executed their slaves and then jettisoned the bodies so that they could not be charged with Piracy or illegal Slavery, but one of them managed to escape, a single Batarian no older than 10 years of age, Bhaar'nak, and Shepard decided to adopt him then and there, and with the signing of several documents, Adelle brought home a Batarian child onto our doorsteps... i was surprised and shocked at first... but i knew Jane's mother always wanted children and i could never provide them..."

Garrus decided to liven up the conversation a little to stop it into entering the realm of depressing conversation which was where the conversation was heading towards.

"A Batarian brother... who would have guessed"

Yaroouz decided to give one simple remark.

"Alien, you will find that the Shepard's are capable of anything, i helped to raise one and i would know, just do not invite one to a political event... that i have experienced first hand... as a politician myself, i have seen first hand what they can do to any situation... But those Councilors deserve a fist to the face, even i must admit that, hence i forced them into coming to your Christmas eve party"

"What!" Shepard exclaimed.

"That's right, you have one hour to get dressed before the Caterer's arrive... Oh, and speaking of your Brother... he too should be arriving shortly, to oversee certain things and to ensure that you do not... harass certain peoples, namely the Citadel Members... or Sparatus, i am sure his face looks like a nice punching bag to you Jane, but he is bad news to me... he could make my life difficult... how i wish i could punch him for air-quoting me... Rggghhh!... But i must be leaving now, Remember to get ready!"

The call was quickly ended by Yaroouz, leaving behind an exasperated Jane... Garrus was not sure how he could deal with this situation... not that he barely even knew much about this so called Christmas.

Garrus knew one very important thing about Jane... She did not like surprises, and he wondered inwardly if her own father knew that just so that he could incite her... that look on her face would scare even a Krogan, and the redness of her cheeks only emphasized her anger.

It dawned upon Jane at that moment... it was Christmas eve, she had this one day to gather a present for Garrus and the Councilor's, and she had to teach Garrus on how to buy her a present, Turian's weren't exactly experts at the whole individualistic thing... Shepard quickly placed a hand over her head and felt as if a large strain was placed over her shoulder's, one not to dissimilar to the strain she felt when she fought off the Reaper forces.

On the other end, Yaroouz couldn't help but grin, he rarely if ever played around with other's, his job as a Politician ensured that such thoughts and acts be abandoned, but it had been so long since Yaroouz had lived at all, he felt the strain and ache of a hard and mentally demanding job draining away at him, he had to quit, before it took away everything from him... it took away Adelle one bit at a time until she could no longer handle it, and he would not let it take away Jane, or Bhaar'nak.

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><p>Chapter 1 down...<p>

How will Shepard handle the Strain of dealing with not only an Unexpected party, but also a bossy father, annoying Citadel Politicians and also teaching Garrus about the in's and out's of quick Christmas shopping?

Oh no, what will the Citadel soon have to handle!


End file.
